


Soldier Ships

by DeckofDragons



Series: TF2 Shipping Challenge (With Some Bonus SpyDad) [3]
Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Animals, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Shipping Challenge, Soldier POV, raccoons - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-11-27 17:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18196925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeckofDragons/pseuds/DeckofDragons
Summary: A one shot for each Soldier ship.





	1. Scout - Kittens and Puppies

“They all need homes,” Soldier said as he looked over the rows of cages filled with cats. On the other side of the shelter was the dog area, some of them could be heard barking even from in here, they needed homes too.

“I know,” Scout said. “But we can’t adopt all of them, we got to…”

“Why not?” Soldier interrupted. They had plenty of room back at the base, surely more than enough space for all these lovely animals in need of a home. They could have an army of cats and dogs to guard the base, no one would ever be able to sneak up on them again, not even the enemy Spy.

“Dude, we don’t have enough resources to take care of all of them,” Scout replied.

“That’s defeatist talk, I will not tolerate it. Now you go free the dogs so we can take them home and I’ll free the cats.” Before he could take more than a step towards the cages though, Scout wrapped his arms around Soldier’s arm, holding him back. He was scrawny and Soldier could easily break out of his grip but he wouldn’t for fear of hurting him on accident.

“Whoa hey pal, let’s _not_ do that. We’ll get in big trouble with the Admin if we get arrested again.” Scout _would_ be worried about something like that, he didn’t like to be yelled at. And he didn’t trust Soldier to be able to get them out of any legal trouble, it was almost hurtful. “We can only take home _one_ and we got to pay for it and stuff with the lady at the desk.”

Soldier didn’t want to give in but… if this did end up with them getting in trouble with their boss as Scout seemed to think it would then it was probably best to give in. “Fine,” he said with a  sigh, stepping down.

“Thank you.” Scout gaze him a quick kiss on the cheek before withdrawing. “Now let’s pick out a kitty or puppy to take home and then you can stop trying to tame the raccoons.” That’s why Scout had suggested they come here, to adopt a cat or dog in place of the raccoons Soldier was taming. Little did he know though that Soldier had already succeeded in taming them and wouldn’t ever give up on them even if he did have another pet with Scout.

 

The hardest choice was choosing between a cat or a dog. Both animals were wonderful and Scout was more of a dog person while Soldier was more of a cat person. After much deliberation – and a radio call from Engie who was waiting at the car to take them all back to base – they settled on a young tabby cat with mismatched eyes.

They’d had to call Engie in to help with the paperwork though. Neither of them were great at that sort of thing. Thankfully Engie didn’t mind and came in to do it without a complaint.

“Good cat,” Soldier told their new pet as he put her in the cardboard box cat carrier provided for them. She meowed piteously in response. He’d take her out as soon as they were in the car, no way was he going to leave her in that carrier. “Now we have to name her,” he said to Scout as they exited the shelter, following behind Engie to the car. “This was your idea so you get to pick.” That was only fair after all especially since Soldier had named the raccoons that were their unofficial pets even if Scout didn’t want to admit it yet.

“What? Really? Uh… I have no idea.”

“You’ll think of something.” Soldier believed in him, he’d pick out a good name for their new baby.


	2. Demo - If Only You'd Notice Me: Yearning and Obliviousness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the only sad one of this challenge so far. There was no way I could make that prompt not sad though.

“Hey Solly, want a drink?” Demo’s words were slurred as he slumped sideways against the bar, raising his half empty glass towards Soldier. His words were barely understandable, if Solider didn’t have years of experience with his accent, drunken and otherwise, he wouldn’t have been able to understand a single word of it. “I’m paying.”

“No thank you,” Soldier replied. “I’m here to take you back home.” Again. Whenever Demo needed to dragged away from the bar in town, Soldier always volunteered. He was the best at this and… and… he cared about Demo more than the others did – not that they didn’t care, they all cared, even Spy (probably), Soldier just cared _more_. Demo never seemed to notice that though, no matter how much Soldier wished he would.

“Nah, it ain’t that late.” Demo waved him off. “I’m still a good hour or two away from passing out so it’s fine.” Nothing about this was fine. Demo couldn’t keep doing this to himself, even _Soldier_ knew this was bad. There wasn’t much he could do about it though.

He snatched Demo’s glass away, earning a mumbled string of slurred nonsensical curses as he put it on the bar top out of Demo’s reach. Demo reached for it of course, inevitably tipping forward off his chair. Soldier barely caught him before he hit the floor.

“We’re leaving,” he said he pulled Demo to his feet.

Demo groaned but ultimately gave up. He leaned heavily into Soldier as he started guarding them towards the exit.

“Just dump him Solly,” one of the other bar’s patrons called out. All the bar’s regulars as well as the bartender knew him as ‘Solly’ due to that being Demo called him. “You’re too good for him.”

Soldier look up to glare at him. “If I hear one more word out of your mouth about that I’m going to break your spine.”

“Geez dude, chill out, I was just trying to help.”

If Demo wasn’t depending on Soldier to keep him upright, Soldier would’ve left him to punch that dude in the face. How _dare_ he assume he knew anything about them? This wasn’t the first time someone here had said something similar either. It was none of any of their business though and _never_ would be. For now, Soldier ignored them as he helped Demo through the door.

“What was that about?” Demo asked.

“Nothing.” Him and Demo weren’t a thing, no matter how much he wished they were, so it really was nothing.

Engie had pulled the car up right in front of the bar so it didn’t take long to get Demo over to it and inside. He fell asleep, leaning on Soldier’s shoulder during the ride back. Was it wrong of Soldier to wish that Demo would sit this close to him when sober too?

Back at base, Soldier carried Demo out of the car and to his room. Where he placed in bed – lying sideways in case he threw up in his sleep, with a bucket on the floor underneath his face too – and pulled off his shoes before tucking him in. Soldier then place a bottle of water on his bed side table for when he inevitably woke up with a hangover tomorrow.

Despite how many times Soldier had done this for him, Demo never seemed to notice nor care. He never even said ‘thank you’ for it. Soldier was going to keep doing it though because he loved Demo even if Demo didn’t love him back.


	3. Sniper - Priceless

“Uh mate those are priceless artifacts you can’t just…”

Soldier threw another pot against the wall that _used_ to be a door but had somehow closed behind them. It shattered, filling the room with the sound of breaky pottery, its pieces falling to ground to join the remains of the first pot Soldier had chucked at the former door.

Sniper groaned and rubbed his face as he sat down, leaning back against the wall. “We’re probably cursed now. Isn’t that what happens when you disturb ancient ruins? You get cursed by something.”

“This is not the first time I’ve been cursed nor will it be the last.” Soldier grabbed another pot off the alter and chucked at the former door. He was going to get himself and Sniper out of here if it killed him.

Except when he ran out of pots to throw, they were still trapped. He threw the candelabra for good measure and the little bowls that probably once contained prayer offerings to some long-forgotten god. Still nothing. The only thing left was the flash light but if he threw that it’d break and then they’d have no light. Why hadn’t he brought his rocket launcher on this exploration mission? It would’ve solved this problem in seconds.

“Just wait,” Sniper said. “The team will find us eventually and get us out.”

That may be true, Soldier had complete faith in their team mates but waiting was _not_ something he was good at. It was un-American to wait for rescue when in a tough spot. He went over and punched the wall instead. Nothing. Punching it some more resulted in more nothing and his hand hurting.

“Just relax for a bit,” Sniper said from behind him.

Soldier turned to face him. The room was small, it only took two strides to reach him. He bent down and grabbed the front of Sniper’s shirt to pull him back to his feet.

“What the…” He cut off as Soldier kissed him on the mouth. He remained stiff and rigid for a second or two before returning it. It was the first real kiss Soldier had ever had, he took his time to enjoy it before finally breaking it.

“What the hell was that?” Sniper asked. His face was crimson, that was a good sign, right?

“In case we don’t get out of here,” Soldier released Sniper’s shirtfront, “I want to let you know I love you.” That’s why he’d insisted on teaming up with Sniper for this exploration mission.

Sniper’s face flushed an even deeper crimson. “That’s very sudden but… all right, I guess. Now probably ain’t the time for this though.”

“What do you mean? Now’s the perfect time for it in case we die from the curse.”

“You mean we’ve definitely been cursed?”

“Yes.” Soldier had enough experience with magic and curses to know that at least, that’s what came with being roommates with a wizard. What _kind_ of curse he didn’t know, he hadn’t been rooming with Merasmus long enough before moving out to know that type of stuff. “We probably won’t die though, most curses aren’t designed to kill, I think, just make your life miserable.”

“Great.”

“Not great, bad, potentially _very_ bad. But don’t worry, I know someone who can lift curses.”

“Who? Merasmus?”

“Nope, Miss Pauling.”

Sniper sighed, slumping back against the wall. “I’m not even going to ask.”

“Good. Would you like another kiss?”

And Sniper was blushing again. “Sure, not like we got anything better to do right now.”

 

“Are you two cuddling?”

Soldier snapped awake to see Spy standing before them, looking down at them. Sniper was still asleep, hugging Soldier’s arm, head resting on his shoulder. It meant Soldier couldn’t move but he didn’t mind.

“You got a problem with that maggot?” he asked, speaking as soft as his naturally loud voice could go.

“No, it’s just odd, that’s all. Anyway, I have found you and opened the door for you. So, wake you boyfriend up and let’s get out of here.”

Instead of waking Sniper, Soldier carefully shifted to scoop him up into his arms as he stood instead. The lack of light coming the door – indeed now open – meant it was night, aka proper sleep time. It’d be rude to wake Sniper now so Soldier would carry him back to base instead and then give him another kiss before tucking him in.


	4. Heavy - Perfect

“It’s perfect!” Soldier said as he stepped back to admire their handiwork.

“Yes, is perfect,” Heavy agreed. Building a ‘cat’ tree in the mostly unused garage – the team car was parked outside most of the time – had been his idea.

“Let’s see if our perfect little princess likes it.” Soldier exited reentering the base proper and headed for his room. He’d been housing Lt. Bites there since he’d found her a few days ago before Heavy suggested she’d be happier elsewhere and had offered to help build a place for her in the garage.

She was hiding under the bed again which meant Soldier had to get down on the floor and drag her out. She snarled and bite him – earning her name – scratched at him too but he was used to her grumpy moods and ignored it. He carried her back out to the garage where she eagerly jumped from his arms and onto the ‘cat’ tree, raccoon tree was a better word for it.

Heavy seemed to let out a sigh of relief, as if he’d thought she might not like such a beautiful home made just for her. “Make sure she stays here now,” he said. “She doesn’t need to be in base.”

“Of course.” There was no way she’d leave though, she had her very own place just for her now. Soldier would miss sleeping with her at night but he would live. Her bites and growling had been starting to old anyway.

“Good.” Heavy nodded. “Let’s go visit Medic now.” He took Soldier’s hand and lead him back out.

“Why?” Neither of them were injured so there was no need to visit Medic.

“Rabies shot.”

“I don’t need it.” Soldier pulled his hand out of Heavy’s to cross his arms and frown his displeasure. He’d been bitten and scratched by all sorts of animals, many of which supposedly carried rabies, and never had any ill affects befall him because of it. Scout’s insistence that that was ‘pure dumb luck’ was false, he was immune to rabies and infection.

“I know. But just to be safe? And for me?” Heavy offered his hand again.

Soldier sighed as he accepted it. “Fine but only for you.” If it made Heavy feel better than so be it.

“Thank you,” Heavy said before bending over to give Soldier a kiss. It was supposed to be a short one but Soldier wasn’t going to let him get away with that. He held him in place by the shirt front as he deepened it, not caring that they in the middle of the hall. If someone came along and saw them kissing passionately then so be it, it wouldn’t be the first time that had happened.


	5. Medic - Kissing

“No absolutely not, for the last time I’m not letting that thing anywhere _near_ my birds,” Medic said, as he blocked Soldier’s way.

“Why not?” Soldier asked. It made sense, he had a pet raccoon and Medic had pet birds, it was long past time to introduce them to each other. “I’m sure they’ll be good friends.”

“It’s _rabid_.”

“She’s not rabid.” Rabies meant the animal was foaming at the mouth, right? And Kitten most certainly _was_ not foaming at the mouth. “She’d never hurt anyone.”

“It is _literally_ trying to eat your arm right now.” Medic gestured at Kitten as if Soldier could somehow have not noticed her gnawing on him. She was also clawing at his arm, it was starting to hurt a little.

“She just doesn’t like to be held.” Soldier readjusted his grip on her so he was holding her like a baby again, making it harder for her to claw and bite him. “It’ll be fine, just let me introduce them.”

Soldier tried to sidestep around Medic but Medic moved to intercept him. They dance for a bit but Medic was always one step ahead of him.

“Get that thing the fuck out of my lab before I put it down.” Medic pointed towards the door, glaring at Soldier. Didn’t ‘put down’ mean…

Soldier flinched and held Kitten a bit tighter. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. How could Medic threaten something like that? Soldier _trusted_ him. So, he turned around and left, he was done with Medic.

 

Later that night a knock came on the door. He was still upset and didn’t want to talk to anyone and thus ignored it. But then it came again and again, clearly whoever it was wasn’t going to leave. So, he stood up and answered it. It was Medic.

“Whoa hey,” he said, placing his foot in the door when Soldier tried to close it in his face. “We need to talk.”

“About _what_?”

“About earlier, now let me in.”

Soldier _could_ press down on the door and crush Medic’s foot but… “Fine,” he said instead as he stepped back and let Medic enter. Despite what Medic had said he still loved him.

“Thank you,” Medic said, adjusting his lab coat as Soldier closed the door. “Now uh…” He looked Soldier in the eye, took a deep breath, and clapped his hands together. “I apologize for what I said.”

An apology was good but… had he meant it? Had his threat been serious? Would he really _hurt_ Kitten to keep her away from his birds? Should Soldier forgive him so easily? Did he _want_ to? His indecisiveness left him left him standing there, staring at Medic.

As the silence stretched, Medic stepped forward. “I’m really very sorry for what I said,” he whispered before leaning in, putting a hand on Soldier’s shoulder and kissing softly on the cheek. “Please forgive me.” He moved to kiss Soldier’s other check. “I didn’t mean it, I swear.”

Soldier met him for the kiss on the mouth. “Okay, I forgive you,” he said as it ended. If Medic hadn’t meant it, it was fine.

Medic let out a shaky breath as he stepped back, murmuring something unintelligible under his breath as he put a hand to his chest.

“Does this mean you’ll let Kitten met your birds now?”

“Uh… uh… birds and raccoons are natural enemies. They’ll fight to the death if they meet.”

“Really?” Soldier had never heard that before but… it might have been one of the things he’d forgotten. And he was a soldier, not a wildlife expert so it’s possible he’d missed it.

“Yes, really. That’s why I don’t want them to meet.”

“Why didn’t you say so before?”

“I just… didn’t.” Medic shrugged. “So please stop trying to introduce them.”

Soldier sighed. His dreams of Kitten making friends with Medic’s birds were shattered. “Fine.”

“Thank you.” Medic put a hand on Soldier’s face and tilted it up to kiss him again. At least they’d made up, Soldier didn’t know what he’d do without him.


	6. Engie - Unnecessary Force

“We uh maybe used a bit more force than was necessary but it gets the job done,” Engie said as they examined the smoldering crater where the undead abomination Merasmus had sent after them – presumably he was the one who’d sent it, he was the only one Soldier knew who could both raise the dead and had a grudge against them – had been a mere minute or two ago.

“America wins again.” Soldier puffed out his chest, adjusting his rocket launcher’s weight on his shoulder. There was no way that zombie thing was going to get back up again after being blown to smithereens. There didn’t seem to be anything left of it. For all practical purposes it had been erased from existence. “Good job Engie, you deserve a medal.” It had been Engie’s plan to lay an explosive trap for it when his sentry gun and Soldier’s rockets had proved little more than a nuisance to the massive creature.

“Thanks. When the others return, we sure do got a tale to tell them, huh?” They were the first two back from their holiday vacation. Soldier had spent it in Texas with Engie. Returning to fight a monster the very next day was great, it could only be a good omen, right? “I guess let’s mosey on back to base now.”

Soldier wished he had an American flag to plant in the crater to mark this victory. He didn’t though so he followed Engie back towards the base and inside. They put their battle gear away and met back up in the common room.

“Now what?” Soldier asked. The war didn’t start back up for another week and a half, they were still supposed to be on vacation and had only come back because they’d been bored. Engie could go work on his machines but Soldier didn’t have anything to do. His morning exercise routine had been interrupted by the undead thing’s attack, he couldn’t remember where he’d left off.

“We could just chill for a bit, since we’re supposed to still be on vacation, maybe listen to the radio. We could go visit town later, see happened round here while we were away.”

“Okay.” Soldier liked spending time with Engie. He was the only person Soldier could enjoy doing nothing worthwhile with, his presence was enough to make Soldier happy. And they’d just saved the base from a monster attack, they deserved some alone time together.


	7. Pyro - Secret Admirers

There was another card with a single rose lying on top outside Soldier’s room upon his return from his morning exercise routine. It had been almost a whole week since the last one, maybe whoever it was would reveal themselves this time so Soldier could finally talk to them face to face. Having a secret admirer was exciting but he wanted to _meet_ them.

In his room, he put the rose in the vase with the four other roses he’d gotten in such a fashion – they were all fake but that didn’t stop them from being pretty. He sat on the bed to open the card. Like the other ones it had a drawing of rainbows and lollipop trees coloured in with crayon on one side and neat flowing handwriting on the other.

‘ _Hi again_ ,’ it read. ‘ _You’re wonderful, I really like you._ ’ There was line of different coloured hearts, creating a break in the page before writing continued. ‘ _Spy caught me when I was leaving the last letter (I suspect he already knew I was doing this and confronted me intentionally). He told me to talk to you. That idea is still really scary but he’s right. So, if you want to talk to me, I’ll be in the shooting range at midnight tonight. See you there maybe. XOXO_ ’

“Yes!” Soldier shot to his feet triumphantly. It was _finally_ time for them to meet. Midnight tonight, he must not forget.

 

It took all his self-control not to arrive early, instead stepping into the shooting range at exactly midnight on the clock.

Pyro was there. He’d been pacing but had frozen midstride to look at Soldier. He raised his hand in a wave, wriggling his fingers, as Soldier let the door close behind himself.

“Are you my secret admirer?” Soldier asked, pointing at him.

Wringing his hands together and hunching his shoulders in a little, Pyro nodded. Soldier marched right up to him and hugged him, holding him tight enough that his feet lifted a couple inches off the ground. Soldier kissed the cheek of his gasmask before putting him back down. He’d been wanting to do that since the first letter and rose.

Pyro mumbled something unintelligible under his mask.

“I don’t know what you just said but you’re one of the greatest men I know. Thank you for the roses and cards.” Soldier was pleased that it was Pyro who was his secret admirer, he’d always liked Pyro.

“So, it’s okay?” Pyro asked, voice raised and clear so it could be understood through his mask. “You like me the same way?”

“Yes, I…”

Now it was Pyro’s turn to hug Soldier. Soldier happily returned it, he’d been looking forward to this moment ever since he’d gotten the letter this morning.


	8. Spy - Relaxation

“You need to relax.”

Soldier snapped around to see Spy, standing in the entrance to the common room. “I shall not.” How could he _possibly_ relax? Going outside was made impossible by the massive amount of snow that had piled up due to last night’s blizzard. He’d been cooped up inside the base _all_ day. There was so much snow they hadn’t even done battle today. And to top it all off, it was snowing _again_ , meaning there’d be even _more_ snow tomorrow morning, increasing the amount of time they’d all be trapped indoors.

“Come here.” Spy gestured for Soldier to come to him.

With a huff, Soldier did so. “What?”

“Come with me.” Spy took Soldier’s hand and started leading him deeper into the base. With nothing better to do, Soldier let himself be led, pacing had been doing little to nothing to ease his growing restlessness anyway.

Spy’s rooms turned out to be the destination. Inside of which a fire blazed in the little fireplace, making the room noticeably warmer. It was _very_ nice compared to how cold the common room had been.

“Why is your room the only one with a fireplace?” Not that Soldier needed or wanted a fireplace in his room, especially now that he spent more than half the nights with Spy.

“I paid to have it installed. That is also why my room is so big.” Figures. “Now sit.” He put a hand on Soldier’s shoulder and gently towards the couch in front of the fireplace and down onto it. Soldier let him. “And relax.”

The couch _was_ soft and comfortable. The heat eased some of the tension from Soldier’s body, erasing the need to shiver with cold. It was nice but it felt so… _wrong_. He should be up and about, doing _something_ … right?

“Here,” Spy said, offering a little fancy cup with steam rising off it to Soldier. He’d wondered off while Soldier had been thinking.

“Thanks.” Soldier accepted it and took a sip. It was tea of some sort. Not a drink Soldier normally drank but it tasted good and was warm so it was fine.

“See? This isn’t so bad, is it?” Spy asked as he sat down next to Soldier. He had his own cup. He’d also taken off his mask, something he only did for Soldier. Soldier _liked_ that that was the case even if he didn’t understand it.

“It is nice, I suppose.” It was mostly Spy that made it nice though. Without him here, Soldier’s need to be doing something would’ve made sitting this still aggravating no matter how warm it was. But quiet moments with Spy were often enjoyable. So, this _was_ nice, he’d enjoyed it and relax for however long he could.


	9. Bonus: Zhanna - Beautiful

Zhanna was at her most beautiful when she was in combat. Not that this was much of a fight, the other guy was barely holding his ground. Not even a full minute had gone by before she ended it swiftly and decisively with a kick to the crotch that sent him falling to the ground with a high-pitched squeak of pain.

“There, now no more being an ass,” Zhanna said as punched a fist into her open palm. “Anyone else want to say something?”

The few people who’d gathered around to watch quickly dispersed. The two who were the dude’s friends helped him up and they quickly fled too without another word.

“Beautifully done,” Soldier said, clapping Zhanna on the shoulder as she rejoined him.

“Thank you,” she replied as they resumed their walk.

It was a bright sun shiny day, perfect for a stroll through town. Or at least it would’ve been perfect if that asshole hadn’t interrupted them with his rude comments about how Zhanna should be dating a ‘real man who wasn’t brain dead’ instead. Soldier would’ve punched him himself if Zhanna hadn’t beaten him to it, he was more a real man than _that_ guy was.

“Why do people not like that I am dating you?” Zhanna asked. That was not the first time someone had confronted them about their relationship. “Is none of their business.”

“They are jealous of your beauty and strength.” Soldier was the luckiest man on Earth for having her. It made sense that everyone wanted her but she had chosen him over everyone else. They’d all just have to get over that.

“They always say that you are dumb but I do not care how dumb or not dumb you are. Why do they care?”

“I don’t know.” Maybe Soldier _was_ dumb. If so, he didn’t care. He was good at _important_ things like being a soldier and taming raccoons, which was better than being book smart.

“Well, I do not think you are dumb. You are plenty smart no matter what anyone else says. I would not trade you for anyone else in whole wide world.”

Hearing those words spoken with such conviction made Soldier’s heart skip a beat. He really _was_ the luckiest man on the Earth. “I love you,” he said, too overflowing with love and joy to not say it out loud.

She turned to him as they stopped walking. “I love you too,” she said before leaning in to kiss him.

There was a couple sounds of disgust as they made out standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Soldier didn’t care though, he never did, if they didn’t want to see they could just look away, this was none of their business.


	10. Bonus: Merasmus - Glorious

“Mwahahaha _glorious_ ,” came up from the basement shortly after Soldier returned home and closed the door behind himself. “You have activated my trump card, let’s see how you like fighting off a horde of giant _spiders_ , mwahahaha.” Merasmus was practicing his evil laugh again. He was getting quite good at it, if Soldier were capable of feeling fear he might’ve been spooked by it. As it was though, he was pleased to hear it, he always was, it meant Merasmus was in a good mood.

After dropping off most of the grocery bags in the kitchen, Soldier skipped down the stone stairs and peeked into the basement. As expected, Merasmus was standing in front of his full-length mirror, practicing looking and sound intimidating as well as his evil laugh. He’d be a proper fear inducing wizard again in no time if he kept this up.

“Good job,” Soldier said as he stepped into the room.

Merasmus jumped, making an undignified squeak sound as he snapped around to face Soldier. “Don’t sneak up on me like that,” he said with a frown as he brushed his front off as if he could somehow dispel his embarrassment.

“I did not sneak.” Soldier would never sneak up on someone, that was a coward’s way of doing things and he wasn’t a coward. “I came down here to tell you that I have returned home and that you’re doing a great job, keep up the good work.”

“I uh… I… Thanks,” Merasmus stammered, looking at anything that wasn’t Soldier. “Did you bring back the licorice like I requested?”

“Yes.” Soldier reached into the shopping bag and pulled out the bag of black licorice as he walked over to Merasmus and handed it to him. Merasmus had been banned from the store – for reasons he refused to elaborate on but Soldier suspected it had something to do with the fact that his presence tended to frighten old people and children even when he wasn’t trying to be scary – so now it was up to Soldier to do all the grocery shopping, he took that duty very seriously.

“Very good.” Merasmus nodded as he made the pack of licorice disappear somewhere in his robes. He’d long since stopped trying to claim he needed them for his spells, Soldier didn’t know much about magic but he knew candy wasn’t needed for any of it.

“Now let’s kiss and then I’ll let you get back to your evil wizarding practice.”

Merasmus sighed and rolled his eyes but was smiling fondly as he leaned in to kiss Soldier. He always had to be prompted for a kiss, if Soldier just did it, he got flustered and upset. That didn’t make the kisses not nice though, Soldier still enjoyed them.

“Love you,” he said when the kiss ended. “I will call you up when supper is done.” Neither of them were good at cooking so they took turns making supper, tonight was Soldier’s turn.

Merasmus mumbled a barely comprehensible “Love you too,” before Soldier exited the basement.

Once in the kitchen, Soldier put all of the groceries away. Shortly after he started proper preparations for cooking supper, Merasmus’ evil laugh was ranging up from the basement once more. It would serve as good background noise while Soldier cooked.


End file.
